Yes, life does go on whether we want it to or not. I have my days lately that I’m not sure I want to go with it. I know it’s just all part of the grieving process and will eventually go away but it’s the part in between that I’m not handling well at the moment.
I have a MRI scheduled for tomorrow, just as a precaution, looking for any activity showing that I’ve come out of remission.
Stress is one of the worst & most dangerous things for people with MS. I think I qualify for stress overload this year. Here we are at 5 months in and let’s just take a tally:
Jan. 11th, lost my soulmate Mark;
Jan. 17th, funeral services;
Jan. 23rd, total right hip replacement;
February 8th, buried Mark’s ashes;
March 28th, learn that mom (88 w/pancreatic cancer), still in Florida, is in the hospital due to dehydration so bad that my aunt thought she had suffered a stroke. The hospital kept her there for several days rehydrating & evaluating. They sent her to a nursing home after release for physical & speech therapy due to lingering effects dehydration but also for pneumonia.
April 3rd, total left hip replacement.
May 12th, lost my balance and fell down in the kitchen landing on my left hip. Didn’t hurt too awfully bad so I figured I was ok as far as injuring my new joint but I did pull the groin muscles pretty good.
May 13th, lost my balance again and fell down in the basement while doing laundry. The good Lord took pity on me and I landed on a 30 gallon trash bag full of Mark’s clothes to be washed, however my confidence was destroyed. I went back to using the walker when I had just begun to walk around the house without assistance.
May 16th, lost my balance in the wet grass, doing a bad Charlie Chaplin imitation, I managed to catch myself without actually falling but I badly pulled the groin muscles on my right side.
Later that day we found out that mom’s cancer has grown and they found a tiny new spot on her liver.
May 17th, visited with neurologist to discuss possible relapse signs that I’ve been experiencing since late Feb. or early March. At first I thought they were just the usual flare-ups, now I’m not so sure. I haven’t relapsed since May of 2005 but the symptoms that I’m dealing with now are not those of my “usual”.
I’m a little scared. I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it if anything happens to mom this soon after Mark or if the news is bad for me.
Thanks for listening!
Peace, love & blessings,
Teresa Marie
Mind Explosion 